NaNoWriMo

That's write everyone... get it? WRITE? Instead of right... Okay, it's not funny, but anyway, I'm attempting to write a 50 thousand word novel, in one month because apparently that's cool now. So, all these people try and write ridiculously large books in a short period of time for who knows what reason, it's supposed to be a great achievement, but as far as I'm concerned, it's time taken away from more important things like sleeping, living, and repairing the couch. (Seriously, that's what I end up doing on the weekends.)

So continuing on, here's some website that a bunch of weirdo's sign up to in an insane attempt to help them with this unrealistic quest. www.nanowrimo.com
It does amaze me though, that some people actually have managed to hit the half-way point before the month is half over, and when I say that, I mean nothing past half the month matters if you haven't already finished half. In fact, it doesn't matter if you actually finish, because you won't. The whole second half of the month is pointless, no one actually has that long to spend writing, not to mention, most people run out of pencils by the seventh page and everyone who uses computers will either have died from lack of sun, or will have stopped paying the electric bill and will have no power. Not to mention these poor souls won't even notice when their screen turns black and will continue typing with no result.

Now you may be wondering why I would try and do something this ridiculous, but I have to. I'm physically being forced by my ego, in the form of a larger version of my head. After all, how could I spend all the month sewing the couch while Patrick rubs his novel in my face?

So, November will be very interesting for me, but not for you... your boring I'm sure...

Cavemen and Me

Well, I've just finished Alchem 5, and I'm very pleased with it, it wasn't rushed, everything is clearer, and I think it makes were the character's are in the plot more obvious. Which is good, it would seem as if I'd been lacking in the "explaining myself" department. Also, there were considerably less spelling and grammar errors then usual, mostly and occasional RObert, or ALchem. And I actually took the time to make sure there weren't any inconsistencies. So, hopefully that will be online soon, keep an eye out for it!

But as you can see by the title, this post isn't about Alchem, or my grammar and spelling issues; it's about cavemen. Recently, the cavemen from the GEICO insurance ads, have gotten their own TV show. I've always thought the commercials were better then most, (except the Wendy's ads, classic!). But the new show was mostly commercials, and when they were actually doing the show, it wasn't funny.

I was seriously disappointed, if I wanted to watch cavemen argue about unimportant and fake issues, I'd watch crossfire. I want to see cavemen, well, making cavemen jokes. But all I got was "blah blah blah blah blah" in an unfunny cocoon filled with slimy jokes, and a producer who needs to get his alphabet straight. Even the show after it, (something about car pooling) was better, and that looked even worse in the ads. In fact, it was funnier, because there was a moment when I actually let out a... laugh. But, it didn't last.

So much for an extra hour of brain melting TV, I guess I'll have to eat my shoes or file some paperwork instead for something entertaining.

Alchem 5

Well, I've finished Alchem 5, or at least my first draft, and so hopefully that will be online soon, after, of course, I make sure I didn't spell anything wrong. Anyway, hopefully this one will clear up some confusion, it takes a little more time to explain what's going on, and makes the plot very clear. Also, soon I will use the upcoming parts to work mostly on character development, while Alchem runs off and does pointless things for a while. As far as length, it's shorter than the fourth, but longer than the third. Hopefully it will turn out better.

Also, I've added three more rules to my rules for writing a fantasy book:

4. Your not C.S. Lewis, or Christopher Paolini, stop trying to be.

5. Your writing a book, not a movie, don't sit in your room with a plunger stick and underwear on your head pretending your fighting a dragon, it's not going to make your story any better.

6. Absolutely NO corny one-liners.

These three are very important rules, keep them dear to heart, otherwise your story will end up looking something like this:

And then Eragonslan was like WHOOSH! And hit stuff, and Boom! And darkness conquered the land.

That is NOT what you want your story to look like, at all! Seriously, read your story through, at least a day after you've written it, at three in the day time, and you'll realize how bad it is. That's the most insincere hour of the day, prepare for people to be reading you story at all times of the day. Don't muck it up.


Also, I've started on a web comic series, and am planning on having that start this month. Paddy set me up a really nice system that I can use to update the series whenever I want with relative ease, so hopefully this will be a little bit of inspiration to get me out of bed and make some stuff. HOWEVER, don't plan on it being funny, I'm not funny, don't kid yourself.

So keep an eye out for a new Alchem and comics.

Spring Cleaning

Well, you may have noticed it's not spring, but that doesn't matter, for the time being, please try to focus on the "cleaning" part. So, I've decided that my blog is... a joke. It's a complete joke, but now that I've remembered how not to be a dead beat, I want to start blogging intelligent things.

So first off, I'd like to congratulate myself on completing yet, another Barg, and though the humor continues in a downwards spiral of nonsense jokes, at least I can say it's written. Aside from that, I've started on yet another series, this one though isn't focused on comedy, and is a little more, well, interesting. You can read it here: http://www.alternative-internet.com/serials.html#alchemthealchemist,

Unfortunately, it's a fantasy. I've always told myself never to write a fantasy, mostly because every person on the planet between the ages of 12 and 17 try, and fail, to write a fantasy novel. Also, I'm no good at it. But lucky me got some positive feedback, and so the series is going to be a little longer then I expected. This is why I like feedback, as you can see, it heavily affects my opinion, and makes me very happy.

Anyway, hopefully the fifth will be up soon, although the fourth was trashy. Which I figured was because I decided to try and go somewhere with it. This brings me to an interesting conclusion: Don't try and go anywhere with your story/thing. As soon as you attempt to accomplish a goal, you end up speeding through things that should take much longer, and end up butchering your story, and missing great opportunities.

So, I'll have to add that on to my list of rules for writing a fantasy novel.

1. Don't write a fantasy novel.

2. Let the story move on it's own, make no attempt to get anything done, as far as the storyline goes.

3. Your not Tolkien, stop trying to be.

The list obviously needs more, well, rules, but for now it'll do. Next time I come up with more rules, I'll update the list.

In other news, I'm working on a web-comic for Paddy-Cakes website: www.alternative-internet.com

I'll also start adding Fat Penguin comics for the blog, now that I've gotten used to the graphics tablet, or at least, I'm using that for an excuse for only ever putting up on. I'm not entirely sure what the comic is going to be about, but most likely, it will just be some characters doing funny thing, or at least, I'll try and make it funny, but I'll, probably come up with nothing and end up creative more junk for the garbage disposal.

So, hope you all are looking forward to comics, stories, and my mad attempt to be intelligent.

New stories!

Hey everybody, It's been forever, but that's ok, because no one reads me anyway.

Anywho... Pat says that. I've got a new Forest of no Return up, (on Pat's site), if you've never heard of it, you can read em' there, got to features, and I've got a new series Alchem the Alchemist, (on Pat's site) go to features. And two new Bargs (You guessed it) go to features! And you might want to think about clicking our ads...


Please.

So, that's all for now, but keep your eye out I've been catching up on season finales, with even a few series finales! Woohoo, so I'll be rating those for you enjoyment.

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's an update!

Hey guys, you may have noticed I haven't update in a while. Well that's because I hate my blog, or at least I did until I (maybe Pat) decided it would be better for news and updates about what I'm working on right now. Which curiously all happens to be stuff for his site, but at least you'll have something to be excited about.

My blog will however remain to be Fat Penguins, regardless of it's having nothing to do with penguins, or excess body weight. But don't worry, I will continue to draw fat penguins and eventually set up a series of Penguin comics. So, for anyone and pretty much everyone who only came here because the penguins were cute, can still eagerly await more penguins.

Hey, I have a fun game, take a drink every time I say penguins. Well, maybe not, I don't think anyone would make it to the end of this post. Anyway, I'm working with flash on a cartoon currently called (I probably will change it) "The Ugly Balloon". It's basically a retelling of the Ugly Duckling with balloons instead of ducks, somewhat because I wish I was Big Idea, somewhat because it is a creative idea, but mostly because balloons are easy to draw. And considering I have no practice, something easy would be a good start.

So far it's only two minutes long, when it's done I'm guessing it will be around ten minutes. I probably will make it into parts, but if I do, they will all go up at the same time and not released as finished, because I will be going back and editing parts when it's finished.

Right now I've got basically a day in the life of the Ugly Balloon who's name is to be decided. He's pretty much got a lousy life, boring job, and no real job. And through some twist of events he ends up at the outskirts of balloon land were a war is going on and he meets Bootsack, who agrees to helphim get to the King of Balloon land who apparently grants wishes. And so basically it goes on from there, but not much is done right now.


In other news I've just finished a new Barg, Barg the Director. It's a Russian roulette Barg and its got everyone from the boards with more than fifteen posts. I will next time be toning it down to the top ten posters because this Barg had so many people (I had to write up twenty-five parts) that it took me three days to right. So, go post... Actually probably no one reads this and posts on our boards other than Pat and Grant.

So go to www.alternative-internet.com and read it, and soon the balloon thing will be up too. Okay, not for a while, but keep an eye out for it anyway.