Did anyone notice that in
part 1 Lark's name changed into Big M. halfway through?
Quezon and Big M. regenerated after there 300th attempt to get into the
castle next to the tour guide.
"How was it this time?"
"Same as always!" they said idiotically.
"What did the guard say"
"Won't let us in unless we bring him a 'soap broom'"
"Were are you going to get it?"
"Well I don't know, I don't even know with."
"Oh, ok. YOUR AN IDIOT! AHAHAHAHAHA!" And so are two stupid heroes ran
back into the forest were they ventured off to find a
soap broom. The walked and walked and walked until they came upon a
small peasant man plowing potatoes. Big M. promptly
grabbed his hoe and knocked of his head and killed him.
"Me and my 1 hp. will rise again!" Then he and the hoe faded into the
distance.
"Wow, I got .0005 xp for that."
"Totally."
"Hey look a dude with a broom. I bet it's a soap broom!" And so they
ran to the man sitting aimlessly holding his broom
screaming "Marsha NO!"
"Hey dude, can we have your broom?" said Quezon.
"No, this thing cost 10,000 gp."
"Were'd you get it?"
"Varrrrrick."
"Idiot, I bet I could get one for half that in Fallllie." The man
tossed his broom on the ground and started arguing with Quezon
Meanwhile Big M. took the broom right out from under his 4 pixel nose.
"Ya well, your mom is badly animated!"
"Oh, that's too far!" yelled Quezon in anger.
"Hey, were's my broom!?!?!?!?!?!"
"Run!" yelled Big M. And so they darted off violently tearing through
the field of overgenerated peasants. But trailing behind
them was the stupid guy with the missing broom. But soft, he ran out of
energy, commonly know as energy.
"Yippee, now we can kill the queen and restore peace to the Forest of
no Return!"
And so off they ran to the castle at which the evil queen and her head
crunchier were. They finally caught up to the guard and gave
him the broom.
"This should be sufficient toll, you can pass."
"YAY!" They yelled as they ran inside.
"By the way, watch out for the dragon."
"What?" they said dumbly as the 3 ton dragon walked up beside them.
"WUN AWAY!" They ran as the dragon filled the chamber with fire.
"I have an idea!" cried Big M. Unfortunately he was fried before he
could explain the plan. Then it was just Quezon who happened to
see a window up on a platform. He jump out through the window into the
witch's courtyard. Unfortunately for him to it happened to be
a six story window. Ouch.
They both generated back at the over crowded town next to the tour
guide.
"Have a good time?"
"Well we got in."
"How'd you handle the dragon?"
"Not so well. How do you know all this?"
"It's in my programming."
"Cool, does the dragon have a week spot?"
"Belly, you'll need an axe though."
"Were can we get one?"
"A gnome would be a good place to work." And so they ran off into the
forest to die... I mean get an axe. They walked pointlessly on and on
until
they came upon a small cottage. They snuck up and peered inside to see
a witch about to boil a small gnome. Big M. pulled out a hoe he stole
from
a villager and ran inside swinging furiously. When he open his eyes the
witch was dead on the floor.
"Well that was a rip off." Stated Quezon.
"Oh thank you so much for saving me!" cried the little gnome as he
stood on the edge of the cauldron.
"Ya whatever." said Big M. as he pushed him back in. They grabbed the
axe and ran back off to the castle. There stood the gate guard eating
a penut-butter sandwich.
"Can we go inside?"
"Ya, have fun dying again." he said as he opened the gate. They both
ran inside and started running at the sleeping dragon. But wait,
he wasn't sleeping at all. He was already dead. Then they noticed a man
wearing full rune standing at the dragons side.
"Don't worry newbies! He won't generate again for six minutes!
HAHAHAHA!"
"Ya whatever, thanks for nothing."
"Take that back or I'll smite you!"
"Unfortunately for him the dragon generated earlier than he thought and
chewed him slowly and steadily. Big M. and Quezon ran out into the
courtyard.
There were hundreds of level 27 guards all staring at them viciously.
But Big M. took the gnome axe and started violently swinging until they
all
fell.
"RIP-OFF!"
"Of course, didn't you know that's the glittering axe of rip-offyness!"
So they ran through the castle up to the highest tower were they found
a... princess.
"Oh, you've come to rescue me!" she said happily.
"No, sorry, wrong room." And so they left her and ran into the throne
room were there sat the queen.
"Queen person we've..." but the queen merely pointed her finger and
blasted the poor idiots to oblivion.
"Ya, I should have told you she could destroy you by thinking about it.
What you need is a mirror!"
"Ya thanks. Could have told us earlier."
And so back into the forest they ran were they would once again assault
the queen.
The End!
This story is a part of the Forest of No Return series.
http://www.alternative-internet.com/serials.html#forestofnoreturn