Barg was walking along the street one day when he walked past a (actually, it wasn't a magic shop if that's what you were thinking.) Umm.. ahh.. Ohh ya, when he walked past a flower shop. But that's totally irrelevant to the story. Then he walked past a magic shop.
"Hey," thought Barg, "maybe I could buy a cool thingy in there that will allow me to brake the laws of physics."
Barg entered the store with caution. Inside there were many strange items, and a guy at the desk singing the Coleslaw Song. Barg looked through the store until he came upon a magic stick, umm... wand. He took it to the cashier and asked him how much it costed.
"I don't know, I don't even work here." he replied.
"ohh, umm... then why are you here." asked Barg.
"I don't know that either." replied the man in a dull voice.
"Soo, how about eight bucks?"
"Ya, sure, that works."
So Barg handed the money to the man and left the store. He then found a bench and sat down to open the box. Inside was the wand, duh, and instructions:
"CONGRATS!
You just got conned out of you money! Ha! Go to London with lots of money, and go the the alley between the bakery and the bank. Once there, touch the highest brick all the way to the left three times. Then when the wall is totally gone, walk into the alley and buy these books:
Magic for Idiots
I Want to Become a Wizard in Three and One Half Minutes
Where are Wolves
Vampires Hurt!
Potions for the Slightly Dumb
Plants that Rok!
After you bought all your books, please buy black robes, a black hat, and a cauldron with a hole in it. Then you will relize that you just got conned out of even more money! HA! And again, HA! Then buy a ticket for 'Platform 10 and Four Quarters' You will ride the train to Pigpimples school for your magic training."
"Wow" thought Barg. "I better get going"
BLA BLA BLA Barg Buys stuff.
BLA BLA BLA Barg gets on train.
BLA BLA BLA Barg arrives at the school.
Barg sat down on the stool (wich broke under his imence weight, by the way) and put the old dirty hat on. After a while of talking about stuff that I need not include in this story, the hat yelled "SHPRIFINDOR" Everyone at the "Shprifindor" table clapped and clapped as Barg sat down. (And again, he broke the bench.) When he sat down, one of the older students started giving him the names of of all the teachers.
"That's Professer Mumbledor" he said pointing at the man with the big beard and long nose. "And that's Shmagrid, but he's just the gamekeeper."
"Shmagrid?" interupted Barg.
"Yep," replied the student.
"I thought his name was..." but he was cut off.
"NOOOO!" yelled the student. "You can't say his name." he continued.
"Why not?" asked Barg.
"Copyright infingement." he answered.
Then the wrighter, me, dicided that he didn't need to put in the middle because it was uninportant, and he skipped to the end.
"Show yourself Froldomert!" yelled Barg at the man in the black coat. Then the evil figure turned around.
"Joe?" said Barg in a confused voice.
"No! I am Lord Froldomert!" Yelled Joe.
"No, you're my pet monkey."
"Yes, but I have a magic stick too, and I will kill you with it! Avada Keradumble!" he yelled in a triumphent voice. "No, that's not right. Avada kractool! No? umm, well, Ohh forget it!"
"Want to go home and make Tina cook bicuits?"
"Sure!" replied Joe.
The End!
This story is a part of The Adventures of Barg Series.
http://www.alternative-internet.com/quezon/barg/
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