Barg recently bought a truck and Ebay, and was driving it around the city yelling "Mr. T says get off a papa's truck!" Like a maniac, and indeed, Barg, was a maniac. Barg drove everywhere, he drove through town, and over a hill until he reached a cliff. "WEEEEE!!!" yelled Barg as he hurled down to the ground. Then after a big CRASH!!!, and several, unneeded cheesy explosions, Barg was dead.
Barg's dead body lay there as his spirit headed to the underworld. The underworld was actually a very fancy place. It was sort of like a fancy hotel. Barg walked up to the front desk and said "I just died! COOL!"
The man at the desk starred, laughed, then starred again.
"How did you die?" The man asked.
"I drove my truck off a cliff!" said Barg excitedly.
"Well then give me your hand." said the man. Brag reached out his hand as the man took out a large stamper. Then he stamped Barg's hand. Barg looked at his hand to see the letters "DUH!" printed on his hand. Then the man pulled out a list and said:
"This is the list of bad things you've done, it will tell me where to put you." Then he rolled his eyes down the list.
"Hmm, bothered Tina, yes, yes, cut off your toe, hmm, attacked your pet monkey, umm, gosh."
He looked up at Barg. "You have been very bad lately, I'm afraid I have to make you do some community service time, if you want to go to heaven."
"Well, ok, how long will it take, and what do I have to do?" he asked.
"It seems the job that would be best for you is the Grim Reaper. Ohh yes, it will take seven hundred years."
"Seven, seven, seven hundred years!!!!!" exclaimed Barg.
"Yep, ohh, just go down there and open the door that says 'Grim Reaper' on it."
Barg shrugged his shoulders and headed down the hall. He opened the door, to find a few people in blue suits.
"Umm," said Barg.
"Ohh, here's another one, well better learn him." One of them said.
Then the people in blue suits told him that he was to where a big black suite and collect peoples souls in a bag, and a rather nice leather one at that.
"Ok, I can do that."
"Well good luck!" one of them yelled. Barg walked through the door and found himself back on earth, right were he died.
"Hmm, I guess I have to collect my own soul to." he thought. Barg looked in his bag. There he found a vacuum that said:
"SOUL-SUCKER" on it. He pointed it at his dead body and hit the on button.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
Roared the machine. Then a little white dot came from his chest, and flew into the vacuum. "COOL!" Barg said.
Barg continued sucking the souls out of people until he decided "Hmm, I wonder if I could catch my own funeral?"
So he headed to the church by his houseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. He walked in and everyone in the building screamed.
"APRIL FOOLS!" Barg sat, then said.
"So this was all a joke?" Everyone nodded. "But how did you do all the soul sucking stuff and me blowing up."
"Don't ask us, ask the idiot who wrote the story!"
So they all went home and Barg played Bagpipes! And Tina made biscuits and gravy!
This story is a part of The Adventures of Barg Series.
http://www.alternative-internet.com/quezon/barg/
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