Barg was using the computer one day looking for cool stuff on Ebay.
"Whatcha doin?" asked Tina, who was cooking biscuits.
"Just messin around." replied Barg. There were loads of things people were selling. From toads to full automated toilets. Barg was looking through when he noticed someone was selling a dragon.
"You can do that?" thought Barg. Then he thought, he thought and thought. Then he had an idea. He could slay dragons, and sell there scales for armor. It was a great plan, sort-of. But besides, he had a robotic arm with a "INSTANT DRAGON SLAYER SUIT" button.
"Tina!" called Barg.
"Yes?"
"I'm going to go slay a dragon!"
"Okay! Just be back in time for dinner, I'm cooking biscuits! And take Joe with you, he's driving me coconuts!" A minute later, Joe, Barg's pet monkey came crawling into the room.
Barg and Joe gathered some equipment, including the useless lava-lamp
on Barg's dresser. Barg and Joe got on the ship and headed to the beach. While the ship magically steered itself, Barg and Joe played 675 games of checkers. After a while, the ship hit land.
"Ever noticed how the ship magically steers itself?" Barg asked Joe, while pressing the "TURN MONKEY LANGUAGE INTO HUMAN" and watched the little thing come out and go into Barg's ear.
"No," replied Joe.
"So were do you think we should start looking?" asked Barg.
"Try the sign that says 'DRAGON ->' on it." said Joe in monkey. Barg and Joe hiked across a field, then some hills, until they reached the mountain. They started to climb, it was difficult, for Barg anyway, but they managed.
"According to my dragon radar on my arm, it says were very close to the..." But they were right in front of a big tunnel. Without word, they both walked in. Inside Barg had to use the "LIGHT THAT'S NOT AS LIGHT AS A STRONG LIGHT, BUT STRONGER THAN A WEAK LIGHT" button. The cave was huge, and there was gold everywhere. After walking a bit, they started hearing a loud snoring noise.
And then they saw a big red dragon with a cool hairdew.
"HEY!" exclaimed Barg. "Your the dragon who ate Joe and I in the "BARG the Cyborg" until the writer changed the story!" The dragon stretched it's wings, opened his eyes and said:
"Oh ya," his voice was dark and old. "I remember that. To bad I have to eat you again."
But Barg had already hit the "INSTANT DRAGON SLAYER SUIT" button. Suddenly, a big silver suit appeared around Barg, But then it turned out to be aluminum foil, so it wasn't much help.
"Isn't there anything I could do to make you not eat me!?!" pleaded Barg.
"Hmm..." thought the dragon. "If you go get me the 'Stone of Fire' from the Evil lair of king Koroth..." But before he could finish, he had to wait for Barg to be done with his fit of laughter.
"Then bring back tome." he finished.
"We can do that!" and so they set off on they're quest.
Normally Joe would have backed out by now, but Barg played the "Friend Card" which is surpassingly affective. And so they both continued to head to the oddly place mountain named Hiperdink. Ahh, Hiperdink, what a beautiful oddly placed mountain. Anyway, as Barg and Joe walked along they discussed how much thing's were worth on Ebay.
"You know a piece of my hair sells for eight bucks." said Barg, while adjusting his translator.
"You wish!" laughed Joe. "But you know Tina's magic biscuits sell for ten bucks a dozen."
"Ya, to bad you keep eating them."
"Do n... Ok, ya I do." he said sadly. "Ever notice how our ship magically steers itself?"
"Ya, I did. But it did say 'Special' ship on Ebay." Barg paused.
"There's the mountain." said Barg while pointing to the Big thing in the background.
So they walked and walked until they made it to the mountain. "How do you suppose we get up?"
"I have an 'INSTANT ELEVATOR' button on my arm, just add saliva."
"That's sick," Barg hit the button and a little black dot came from the hand. Barg spit on it, and sure enough, an elevator appeared. "Cool!"
They rode up the elevator and into the front door. There, on the throne was King Koroth.
"Why have you come?" he asked.
"We have come to retrieve the stone of fire." answered Barg.
"THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO FIGHT A BILLION NINJAS!" But before Barg could say anything a billion ninjas poured in the room. They came from the ceiling, the floor, and even the doors! But luckily Barg had an "INSTANT NINJA FIGHTING SUITE" button on his cyborg arm. When Barg pressed it, a gray suite appeared around him, and a cool stick came from his arm. Barg took his stick, and hit a Ninja in the chest.
999,999,999, ninjas later...
"Very impressive," said the king.
"So do I get the stone now?" asked Barg.
"Hmm..." he thought. "Ahh... Yes, but you have to leave!"
"DEAL!"
So they took the stone and headed back to the Dragon's cave.
"We brought you the stone!" said Barg triumphantly.
"Ok, I won't eat you." he said happily.
"Why did you want the stone?" asked Barg quizzically."
"It's very powerful, and self-sustaining."
"Want to come home with me and be my dragon?" asked Barg.
"Ya, okay."
They all walked outside to see Barg's ship floating in midair.
"I guess it is special." said Joe.
And so they all headed home to have biscuits and gravy.
THE END
This story is a part of The Adventures of Barg Series.
http://www.alternative-internet.com/quezon/barg/
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