Barg the Car Salesman
By Christopher (Quezon) Simmons

Barg was hired to be... a car salesman. In fact that was were he was headed. Barg was walking around
when he tripped over a caterpillar. Barg shook his head, and pulled himself up. He looked down to see a little
caterpillar with a booth full of rugs.

"Hello my friend!" he said annoyingly. "Would you like to buy a fine Persian rug?" Finished the caterpillar.
"Umm, no. I'm kinda in a hurry."
"Ohh, don't tell me! Let me guess! There's a beautiful woman whom you love, but her father is a camel thief!"
The little guy started rambling on and on until Barg interrupted with.
"Move out of the way or I'll step on you!!!"
"Being stepped on runs very deep in my family!"

"Barg, you've got something on your shoe." said Barg's boss five minutes later.
"Ohh, it's just umm... so... when do I start?"
"NOW!"

Barg started waiting for customers. One came in wearing all pink and a pink purse.
"Uhh, you there!" she said pointing at Barg. "I need a posh car! Immediately!"
"May I have you're name?"
"Melissa F."
"F. for?"
"I don't know... where's my car?"
"Well if you follow me I can show you the Poshest car we have."
"Poshest?"
"Ya,"
"No,no,no, you have to roll the back of you're tongue when you say it."
"Posh?"
"Ah... good enough... where's my car?"
"It's over here." said Barg impatiently.

Barg showed her the car. She shook her head and whined "No, this will never do."
Barg, now extremely angry, hit the "TRANQUILIZE" button on his arm.
"Ohh, I... er... night, night..." she stirred, then fell asleep.

The next person to arrive was Hazel N. Filbert.
"May I help you?" asked Barg.
"No, goodbye." she said.
Later Barg found her walking around again looking out of place.
"May I help you?" asked Barg.
"No, goodbye." she said again.
This happened two times over again. Finally Barg, angry, said "Mam, are you lost?"
"Ohh, hello... who are you?"
"Umm, I work here."
"Oh, goodbye." she said. And with that she left the store.

Barg's employer, Mike Little, came in angry. "Barg I am getting angry letters saying you're a bad salesman!"
Barg asked who they were coming from. "I don't know! All I know is that every time I go back to my office,
there's another angry letter!"

Barg ran into Mike's office. The was a big curtain on the desk.
"Is that curtain always there?" asked Barg.
"NO, it was just there today."

Barg lifted up the curtain. Under it was paper, pens, and Hob Bramble. Hob got up, pointed at Barg and screamed "INFADEL!"
Then ran out the building through a window.
Hob made a very messy splotch on the pavement, which took several hours to get out.

Mike looked at Barg. "Barg, you made no sales, you are a lousy salesman. Barg, your fired."

STAY TUNED FOR NEXT SCENES OF THE APPRENTICE!!!!!!

Back to BARG