One fine day Barg was walking along the road off to get some milk at the convenience store which was owned by old man Smitcherwibbort. Old man S. (for short) was a very strange man, he insisted on sorting everything thing in his shop by floor. Unfortunately for Barg milk happened to be on the 167,038,286th floor, and the elevator was down that day so he was going to have to walk.
So up Barg went floor by floor, days with out stop. Eventually he stumbled upon Joe who was also in the store picking up some chocolate syrup. And so they
both walked up until they finally had to grab oxygen tanks. After much more walking and crying and high fiber they made it too the 167,038,286th floor. All
the milk seemed to be floating around the room.
"Umm," said Barg.
"Umm? well that was an amazing sentence. I bet your Mom is very proud of you, 'Oh! My little Jimmy can sight-read Chopin!' and then your Mom will say 'My
little one can say Umm,' and then everyone will think your mom is dumb! And then she'll start getting depressed, and then she'll start doing drugs! And then
her 'little one' will have gotten her sent to jail! And all the Mommies will tell there children to avoid that nasty boy, who gets his mother put in jail!
And then you will have no family what so ever all because you don't know how to speak proper English."
Barg was amazed when he heard this, how could be so stupid to think Barg spoke English.
"I don't speak English! You idiot, I speak American. Who are you anyway?"
Then a little green man floated out from behind the milk. He seemed very old, he only wore what seemed to be a torn up suit jacket.
"I am the owner of this place, I was walking up here to put the half-off stickers on the milk and I forgot were the stairs were, so I've been up here for
forty billion years. I obviously couldn't get the mail and so I never could pay the electricity bill and the elevator shut down right as I found it again."
"Hey, little green man!" called a voice of behind the shelves.
"Oh yes, what is it Lenny?"
Barg followed the little green man to the voice. Behind the shelves was an astronaut he was holding a gallon of milk.
"Mark this down we've survived longer than anyone else ever has solely on milk."
"And who is this?" asked Barg.
The man looked over at Barg, after a few seconds he explained:
"I work for NASA, I crash landed here a few years ago and didn't have the tools to repair my craft, so we've become best friends and lived up here together
ever since. Hey. green man, now will you marry me?"
"I'm not marrying you! No matter how desperate you are!"
"But please, there's now one else up here to get married to!"
"Marry a gallon of milk you stupid!"
Barg looked at the space craft.
"What's wrong with it?" asked Barg.
"That's not the door." he said as he pointed to the large hole in the side of it.
"Well I could weld that up with my robot arm."
"Alrighty then!" They all hopped in the vehicle.
Barg patched up the hole and they all hopped into their seats. The astronaut turned the keys in the ignition. Nothing happened.
"Blast were out of gas!"
"Maybe there's a spare tank in the back."
Barg and Joe hopped out of their seats and walked to the back.
SCHREECH!
"What was that?" The ship started leaning backwards. Everything started tumbling to the back of the ship.
"Quick! Push everything to the front! Were about to come out of the building!" Everything kept tumbling into the back. Soon followed the green man and the
astronaut.
"AHHH!!!" They all scream as the ship came totally out of the building. They hurdled down to earth at record speeds. They needed a plan, fast. Barg looked for and extra gas tank. Then they all seemed to stop. Barg looked out the window, Marvin had grabbed them just before they died.
"Oh hey!" said Marvin "A little snack." Marvin didn't realize Barg and Joe were on the ship.
"No! Marvin!" He screamed at the top of his lungs as Marvin bit the end of the ship. Luckily he turned it upside down and they all fell safely to the ground.
"Hey," said Marvin "Where's the cream filling?"
Get it?
The End
This story is a part of The Adventures of Barg Series.
http://www.alternative-internet.com/quezon/barg/
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