Last seen, The Demons were making waves with their newest single, The Way to the Dragon, and were about to embark on tour to promote their upcoming album A Small Digression in Plot.
Heading left, as Ex Lax had directed, Sir Rupert continued his gallant quest.
The Fifth Turn
Soon Sir Rupert found himself at the gates of a gleaming city, full of tall towers reaching towards the sky like steel fingers grasping for the sun.
“Hello down there!”
Looking up, Sir Rupert saw a man in pink armour standing atop the gates.
“Hello to you as well! Pray thee, what kingdom is this?”
“Why, San Francisco, of course! Or, as we like to say, San Fran!”
“San Fran,” asked Sir Rupert, somewhat confused.
“Yeah,” replied the pink Knight, with a slight slip.
“San Fran,” mumbled Sir Rupert to himself, “I’ve head it mentioned…but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was…”
“Will you be coming in,” asked the pinky, interrupting Sir Rupert’s train on thought.
“I suppose so, I need to buy a new map.”
“Alright then, cutie!”
“Cutie?”
The gates opened to reveal the glimmering interior of the city – everything, from the glass windows of the tall buildings to the very pavement of the streets gleamed in the sunlight as if coated by glitter. Blinking in the glare, Sir Rupert quickly realized why: everything, from the glass windows of the tall building to the very pavement of the streets was coated in glitter. Even the men, dressed in rather flamboyant shades of pink, pastel blue, and a rather attractive sort of off-mauve (very in at the moment) had flecks of glitter here and there on their clothing, their armour, and their hair.
Suddenly, Sir Rupert remembered, and, breaking into a run, decided to buy his map somewhere else.
The Sixth Turn
On and on Sir Rupert ran, until he came to Mississippi.
There he stopped for a breather, and then he kept going.
What? Nothing happens in Mississippi.
The Seventh Turn
For two days Sir Rupert ran – partially because he wanted to distance himself from San Fran as much as possible, partially because he had an adrenaline rush going, but mostly because he wanted to cut to the chase.
“I’d like to fight the Dragon before I die of old age.”
Yeah, I guess that would be more anti-climatic than funny.
“Yeah…hey! Funny? You were going to have me die of old age?”
Err…no.
“You don’t sound very convincing, you know.”
Neither does your tale, at this point.
“Touché.”
Anyway, on ran Sir Rupert until he stumbled, completely by plot device accident, onto the entrance of the dragon’s lair.
“Finally.”
Drawing his sword, Sir Rupert entered the dragon’s lair ears open, eyes peeled, wits steeled, ready to confront the beast within.
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This was posted on Sunday February 6, 2011.